woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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