You're so nebulous sometimes
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
