He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
