New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
