We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
