I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
