What did we do last night that was yellow?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
