my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Everclear isn't food dammit
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize