Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
