Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
