So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
