when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
