Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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