I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
