She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
