I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
