Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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