she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
