This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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