i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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