I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
