Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
