Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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