I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
