and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
