Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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