This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
