Already got asked if we're dating
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize