i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
