he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
