Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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