are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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