I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
