we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
