every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
