Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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