the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize