Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
