Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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