Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
