At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Sext me about skeletons
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
