i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
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Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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