walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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