I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
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Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
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YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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