She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
They have beer where we have blood.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
