hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
