your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
