i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
