I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
