I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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