the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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