does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
