she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
