I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Sorry about my life...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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