My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
