lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
