We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you will always have a special place in my vag
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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