He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
