I'm eating all of the evidence.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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