My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
